I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas

              Just like the ones no one should know
             Where the tree tops are empty
             And children are mean
             Because they hear sleigh wheels on the grass
            
             I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
             Where the temperature on Christmas day will be 47 degrees Fahrenheit

          Yes, it's true. If you live in New England, (or most of the U.S.A) it will be a green Christmas for you (unless you don't have grass). There is some Spanish thing like El Nino or something and that is causing the warm weather. Last night we (my family) wrapped presents and decorated the Christmas Tree, we are very behind on the holidays this year. Last year on Christmas Eve, we were making remarks about the amount of presents we had under the tree. We were saying how the year before we had presents out so far we had to move the coffee table (we don't drink coffee, in case you were wondering... no offense), and that year we didn't, of course we only had to move the coffee table a few inches, but still. Then my mom said that she was going to go up to the garage room (my dad's library) to wrap a couple last minute presents. An hour later, my mom is making trips from the garage room to the living room hauling BIG presents, my mom probably had like ten presents stacked up in there.

        I said it's going to be a green Christmas, it's also going to be a wet Christmas. Look at this radar picture from a weather website. Now that's is scary, did you see that big blob of green, yellow and red? That was RAIN. And it is heading right for NEW ENGLAND, which is where I LIVE. And a bunch of other guys don't have snow either, which makes it even worse. Did you see those smaller blue blobs too? That was snow but there's barely any of it. CURSE THAT EL NINO THING!

Luke, I Am Your Mommy

            Thursday night was first time I have seen a Star Wars movie in theaters, and it was awesome. When the movie starts you see the hollow yellow letters that spell "STAR WARS" that slowly fade away into the stars. Then you see the upward scrolling words that tell you whatever they tell you about the movie. Then you just see space and stars and then a couple of planets coming into the screen. Next thing you know you see a giant Star Destroyer flies over head. Just that right there really gets you into the Star Wars feel and prepares you for the movie.

        The guy sitting behind me and to the right was super annoying. Say, if Klyo Ren walked on to the screen, this guy would be all like "Kylo Ren" in this weird voice. In the very begging when a Star Destroyer flies over your head, he went, "Star Destroyer" and it was very annoying. At least he stopped a little in the middle of the movie. But then he did it right after a lightsaber battle, when the guy he wanted to win (I will say no names so I don't spoil if you want to watch the movie) won, he was all like "Yeahhhh!"

        It was super packed at the theaters, I went with my dad and we were waiting in a line on the sidewalk when my friend came along with two of his friends, (one of which I know) and he told me he would save me a seat. So I saw the movie with my friends instead of my dad, but at least my dad got to sit with one of his friends, (which would be my friends' dad). The movie itself was pretty awesome, but like in almost every movie, there were some stupid things. I am asking Santa Claus for a DVD of the movie for Christmas.

The classic line from the second original Star Wars movie Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back is like the best part of the movie. The line: "No, I, am your father." Here is the video of that. Oh, and just so you know, in case you didn't read my previous blog post, the movie I was talking about is Star Wars The Force Awakens.

Japanese Version

  

I Know

             TODAY'S THE DAY!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!! But I'm the only one in my family that's willing to stand in a line for an hour just to get a seat, so.... I'm in the car while my dad is driving me and my sister to Latin class (yes, I speak Latin, who cares if it's a dead language) and we're talking about the new Star Wars movie. I tell my dad I want to see Star Wars The Force Awakens as soon as possible, and he says that there are going to be people in tents on the sidewalk waiting just to see the movie as soon as the can because they just CAN'T wait. I tell my dad yeah, I'm one of those people. But I'm only 11 so I can't do anything.... Except plot.

            What if one of my friends and his older brother are willing to get out into the wilderness of people, (I wonder what is more wild, people in line to see a multi-million dollar movie, or poor people on Black Friday? No offense to poor people) because obviously one of my friends parents aren't going to want to stand in line forever either. But all of my friends go to public school and today is a Thursday, I'm homeschooled so my schedule is a little more... flexible... and I have really good negotiating powers (my dad likes massages and my mom doesn't like to cook dinner).

            For those of you that don't know the Han Solo quote "I know" in the best Star Wars movie Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, I put a video of the quote here for you. But here's some history you might want to know if you don't know it before you see the video. Han Solo, Chewbacca and Princess Leia are captured by Darth Vader on the cloud city of Bespin, Vader plans to freeze his son, Luke Skywalker, in carbonite to take him to the Emperor who wants to persuade him into joining the Dark Side. Lando Clarisson then tells Darth Vader that the process of freezing Luke in carbonite might kill him, so Vader decides to test the carbonite freezer thing on Han and then gives him to a bounty hunter that works for him, Boba Fett. Boba Fett is also working with Jabba the Hut,,who wants Han Solo because Han has some unpaid debts to Jabba. Right before Han gets frozen, Leia tells Han that she loves him, and Han has the best reply "I know."

I Like to Throw My Hands Up in The Air Sometimes But Then My Pants Usually Fall Down

       I don't like to put my belt on sometimes, so what do you expect. Whenever I go belt shopping I usually get a belt that barely fits me. Not because I'm fat or anything like that, it's because I'm what they call skinny (you don't want to know who they are). I don't get belts met for five year olds, just every time I put a belt on I have to wear it on the tightest hole there is, and even with that it still could be tighter. Don't think of me as a vine snake or anything.

       I will wear a belt if I have to, as long as I see Star Wars The Force Awakens as soon as possible. The theater in my town, Jax Jr. Cinemas, will be PACKED. It's a good sized cinema but everyone will want to see it. LIKE ME. Two days, TWO DAYS, T-W-O D-A-Y-S, 2 of them 24 hour periods we call DAYS, until The Force Awakens comes out. The only way to see it sooner is to either find yourself a ski mask and a gun, or give yourself a death sentence. There was a guy, I think he had cancer, and he was going to die, and one of his last wishes was to see the new Star Wars movie, and he got to see it a month before everyone else. But I don't want to die so I'll wait.

Vine Snake

DUM DUM DUM DUM DEE DUM DUM DE DUM DUM DUM

           Nine days until it happens. Now I don't mean a flying squirrel jumping off the Empire State Building, ( not that that wouldn't  be awesome, as long as the squirrel is fine, I mean, he can fly right? )I mean the new Star Wars movie. Star Wars The Force Awakens comes out on the 18th, and I am so excited. My dad isn't though, the director, J. J. Abrams, did the Star Trek reboots an totally messed it up, the original tv series of Star Trek is so much better. Now, if my dad's right, I hope that Star Wars is such a good movie series that J. J. Abrams can't mess it up, no offense to J.J. Abrams at all. I haven't seen the Star Trek reboot movies, I can if I want, but I'm not a big Star Trek fan, my dad is a huge tv critic, like he could get paid big time if he did that, so I'll take his word that the reboots aren't that good. He notices the slightest details and makes fun of them, that's why it is so hard to watch tv with my dad, but I got used to it. Maybe my dad is secretly making me into a tv critic? Star Wars is a lot better than Star Trek, though.

         I think that the new lightsaber is pretty cool, with the little blades that come out on the sides, but me and my dad both think that if your in a lightsaber battle with that specific lightsaber, wouldn't you like, cut you hand off with those little blades. J. J. Abrams better do something with this lightsaber, because Darth Maul had a pretty awesome lightsaber, then he just died and we never saw it again. It probably fell down that hole with Maul and people just forgot about it and didn't care. Know they can't have Klyo Ren just trip over a log fall down a hole so his lightsaber can be lost in time.

         R2-D2 is just plain awesome. He and C-3PO are cool, and they argue a lot. R2 goes on a lot of adventures, in different movies as well as galaxies, check out where he's been on this link.

                       Here's one of the many Star Wars The Force Awakens trailers.

Buddy, Get a Job

         Oh yeah, I said it. You need to get off your lazy butt and get a job. Now you should just imagine me as a little Texan girl with a bow on her head that said "Hey buddy, you better get off that couch and get yourself a job" or you can imagine me as your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

         I said that to my dog once.

I Own a Firearm

           Just joking. I don't own a firearm. I just thought it would make for a good title, or at least get peoples' attention.

           My dad, Rick Ollerman, is an author, he has written 3 books, the third comes out December 11th. He writes crime-fiction. He is also working on a book right know that comes out in April 2016. My dad has written many introductions and articles for magazines, he has also edited and proofread many books. Here is a link to his website and blog. My dad's first book, which is 2 books in one, is called Turnabout, and the second is called Shallow Secrets. The third is call "Truth Always Kills", which you can preorder from Amazon or my dads website along with any of his other books.
                                                                                      ................................................
          I am not an author, but my dad is so check it out................................................

Hide in a Bunker and Don't Come Out Until 2046

            I don't know why I just blogged about football when cyborgs are about to take over. If you don't own any firearms, melt your silverware to make weapons. I can put you to ease a little bit, the cyborgs will come for me first because, do you know how many cyborgs I've killed in video games, well they do! I made a device with my colander, silverware and a lot of duct tape that will keep the cyborgs from reading my mind. I can't believe the cyborgs E-mailed us that they were coming on what they call, Cyborg Monday.

10-1 Isn't Good Enough for Me

          NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The New England Patriots lost to the Denver Broncos. NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I watched the first half of the game last night and I believe the score was 14-7, New England. I was so happy that they were winning, then my dad broke the news to me this morning....

       The game went in to overtime and the Patriots kept backing up and the had to punt. Denver got the ball and... I don't want to say it. I'm sure you can guess though. You have to cut the Pats some slack, though. They aren't the Patriots anymore. They don't have Edelman, Amendola, and Grownkowski got hurt last night with a knee injury. At least Tom Brady isn't hurt.

        It was snowing last night during the game, and it's November 30th, why isn't there snow where I live in NH. But the game was in Denver, and Colorado is known for it's skiing, so. I ski race with a club at Cannon Mt in Franconia, NH, and they're making snow, but still can't ski there for another week. Cannon was supposed to open last week but it got delayed because they didn't have enough snow.

        My Super Bowl picks are the Arizona Cardinals and the New England Patriots. The Cardinals are a good team and I like them a lot. My favorite teams are the Patriots, ( I live in New England ), the Arizona Cardinals, the Washington Redskins, the Green Bay Packers     ( my moms from Wisconsin, I also have a cheese head ), and I've always liked the Miami Dolphins.

I Was Going to Put Down a Blog Post Idea But It Seems I Forgot

......

This Sport Must be Fun But it Also Must Hurt a Lot

                I really like American Football, but something like 97% of all NFL players get head injuries, bad ones. I watch football a lot and I love it, but I will never play football. I'll play flag football or two-hand-touch, but not tackle, unless I want to get a brain disease like CTE ( a really bad brain disease ). 

          I was watching the Cardinals Vs. the Bengals last night, and it was a really good game, there was a LOT of flags though. The Cardinals won, the score was 31-34. At the end of the game, when it was tied, the Cardinals had the ball and they drove down and finally got into field goal range, but it was kind of a long field goal. Then, with like 5 seconds left in the game, they were about to kick the field goal and one of the Bengals was mimicking the QB, making one of the Cardinals think they already snapped the ball, when they didn't, so he jumped, and a flag ( actually I'm sure there it was more than one flag ) was thrown. The Bengals were all excited because they thought that the Cardinals got a false start and they'll have to back up to make it an even LONGER field goal. But no, the flag was on the Bengals for mimicking the QB. Then the ball was moved up and it wasn't so much of a long field goal anymore, and the Cardinals got the 3 points. The Bengal that was mimicking, claimed he didn't do it, and the coach said he believes him, but the Cardinals said he was doing it the whole game.

        Tonight the Buffalo Bills take on the New England Patriots, and I want the Patriots to win because I live in New England, and because my dad doesn't like the coach of the Bills for a good reason, so he kind of rubbed that off on me. Just like we think that Aaron Rodgers is kind of weird for doing the belt, where whenever he gets a touchdown, he swings his arms around his waist like he has a wrestling belt on.

        This is the first year I actually understand football and watch it a lot, ( I watch it on a computer since I don't have cable TV, and we used to not be able to watch football on a computer, but my dad found this website where you don't have to sign up or download any thing, and it's free, here's a link so you can watch more sports than just football ). So I'm excited for Thanksgiving, I'm definitely watching football, I'll probably watch the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade, and maybe the dog show after that, ( yes, I like to watch the dog show after the parade ).

It Hurts Just Looking At It!!!

         "This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold. This one's for them hood girls, them good girls, straight master pieces." That is the begging of the song Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars. I really like that song. When you add it to some old black and white dance scenes, it's awesome. Except when you see very flexible men do some... just see for yourself.

         AAAHH!!! It hurts just looking at it, those guys jump off the balcony at the end and BOOM!! They land. Do those guys have like groin padding or something? I can't do a split, and it hurts a lot when I try. But that's just OOOWWW!!! How long did it take for them to perfect that. Oh, I know, right after the learned how to do the splits, so, a long time. When the two guys jump down the stairs and land in the splits is plenty, especially for my dad.

Bond, James Bond

         I saw the new James Bond movie, Spectre, the other day, and it was pretty good, but I was a little confused, my dad said that's because it didn't make sense. I still liked the movie though. I came across this list of the top ten best James Bond movies in some guys opinion, and he put Skyfall as the best, my dad thinks that From Russia With Love is the best of the Bond movies he's seen. I don't think that Skyfall is the best Bond movie but it is still pretty good. Here's a link to the list.
 
         I like the Bond movie Goldfinger, and that was number two, ( sorry ) on the list. Goldfinger is one of the older James Bond movies with Sean Connery as Bond. Connery also did From Russia with Love, ( the one my dad likes ). In Goldfinger, there's obviously a best scene, I'll tell you but it also spoils something, but it doesn't spoil anything HUGE, so if you haven't seen the film and you want to, you might want to skip to the next paragraph. So, Goldfinger has caught Bond and took him to his... mothers basement??? Anyway, he straps Bond down to this table with his legs open wide. Above on the ceiling is a giant laser, and it's slowly going up the table between Bonds legs getting closer and closer to cutting 007 in half. Bond asks Goldfinger a question and he gets the best reply, "Do you expect me to talk?" "No Mr. Bond I expect you to die!".

           James Bond has has many awesome cars, but the most famous, the Aston Martin DB5. All of 007s' cars are a souped up with a bunch of cool things like machine guns, ejector seats, smoke screen, oil slick and so much more. In Spectre, Bond is in a car chase and the car he's in ( an Aston Martin DB5, different year than the most famous )shoots out fire from the exshaust pipe and the other guys car catches on fire. Here's a link to a list of James Bond cars.

And Now for Something Completely Different

          When I say 'And Now for Something Completely Different,' I don't mean like a shark attack _/\_ \o/ and I definitely don't mean a shark attacking a cheerleader _/\_ *\o/* I mean that Monty Python And Now for Something Completely Different is a funny movie. Monty Python were a British comedy group who created sketch comedy shows. The opening for Monty Python And Now for Something Completely different is so funny, here it is. 

        
     And Now for Something Completely Different is the only Monty Python movie I've seen. I would like to see Monty Python and The Holy Grail, but I do not have that movie. I found The Holy Grail on Youtube and started it but I only watched like five minutes of it.          

I'm Back America+

        When I say America+ I know that some people all over the world look at my blog. So, hi everybody : ) I've been sick for the past few days so I haven't blogged in a while, ( I'm still sick but not as sick ). Soon this will be my second published blog post of the day, so let my get on with it.  


Fact From the Future: This was actually the only blog post I published yesterday. So...

Hello world, I'm Back Again

             My name's Bob, as you should know. You should also know I work in a coffee shop in downtown London. Oh, and by the way, I was victorious in that nuclear war against North Korea, in case you were wondering. I only suffered a few scrapes and bruises and a couple radiation side effects, either that, or those Koreans put peanuts in a bomb. I think I might get sued for many things relating to that war, but I think that the worst of all is the raining cats, dogs and peanuts. Right after I ran faster than the security at one of the mental health clinics in London, I decided to go get a cup of coffee at the coffee shop I work at because I then get some of the money I spent on my coffee I think, so I'm saving money! Now I will go to my mom and dads house ( it's made of cardboard ) and give them my extra money I just made, wait, I think I just confused my self...... do I make money? 

Manhattan

        Bookcon was held in Manhattan for the last two years, next year it will be in Chicago, and since we went to NYC, my dad likes it my mom likes my sister likes it and I like it. The last time we were there ( for the second Bookcon ) we walked around Times Square ( it has a lot of lights ), we got really good pizza in Times Square too, we went to the top of the Empire State Building ( not the observation deck, you have to pay even MORE to get up there, but I was fine with staying at the, I think it was the 86th floor, ) there's 102 floors on the Empire State Building, or is there? Now my dad has a book thing ( my dad is an author ) and it's in Manhattan so we are going to NYC for the weekend, and my dad said we might go to Manhattan for Christmas because it's fun. My dad also has another book thing in the Key West in Florida next year, and that will be fun.

       At 9:40 on Saturday July 28, 1945, Lieutenant Colonel William Franklin Smith Jr. crashed a B-25 Mitchell Bomber airplane into the Empire State Building between the79th and the 80th floors, where the National Catholic Welfare Council  business was. An engine flew through the building and kept flying for almost a block and landed on the roof of a building, started a fire and a penthouse was destroyed. The other engine and part of a landing gear went into and elevator shaft and snapped the elevator cable and Elevator Operator Betty Lou Oliver elevator set the world record for surviving a 75 story elevator drop.

 

BOOM

          The title of this blog post pretty much sums up the blog post. Last night we had The Most Heavenly Pizza Ever Created and this morning I saw my dad take a pizza box from last night down to the fire pit to burn it. Then later I walk down stairs to do school, ( I'm home schooled remember ) and look out the window and I see my dad next to the fire pit, and there was a bunch of stuff in the fire pit ( more than just a pizza box ) and some of it was white, some of it was different colors, so I thought my dad was about to burn plastic bags, I wondered why he would do that, and either way burning plastic polluting and that's not good. I keep looking at the big pile of white stuff in the fire pit, wondering what it could be, then, BOOM.

        The house shook, there was a big BOOM and my dad took a big step back from the fire pit, because the fire pit had just exploded. Some of the grass around the pit was on fire. The big stack of white stuff was on fire and stuff was floating around in the air. Then I go out side to check on my dad and ask what happened, and as soon as I walked out the door it smelled like gasoline, I asked my dad if he was okay, ( he looked fine ) he said why wouldn't he be, and I said because you just blew up the whatever you're burning. He told me he was burning some cardboard because the recycling bin in our basement was full, I asked him if he used gasoline and if he just dumped gasoline on the pile and just tossed a match on the stack of paper, ( he's done that before ) just to clarify what I thought he did, and he said he covered everything in gasoline, ( especially the paper shreds he thew in the pit ) except for a piece of cardboard which he then caught on fire with a match ( although how he made the thing catch on fire isn't really important, maybe it is if you use C4 or a flame thrower ) then when the piece of cardboard that wasn't covered in gas reached the gas covered paper everything went boom.

Meow

        I like cats, I think they're cute, but looks can be deceiving, and in this case, looks are definitely deceiving. My dad hates cats because cats are like puppies when they're kittens, playful, cute and bad at jumping, but when they get older they're mean, don't like cuddling and are even worse at jumping. That's why my dad is more of a dog person and that's also why we have three beg dogs. My mom likes cats ( as do I ) but she's allergic to cats ( as am I ), but my dad is right, when cats get older, they're not as enjoyable as they are when they're kittens. Australia is killing 2 million feral cats because Australia is getting over run with feral cats.

       I mentioned that cats weren't good jumpers,maybe they are, just most of them think that they can make huge jumps and then most of them fail, and it's funny unless they get hurt, but that doesn't happen very often I don't think. If you look up funny cat jump fails on Youtube, you will get a lot of funny stuff. There's one funny cat jump fail I saw where this really fat cat wanted to make a jump from a bed to a window sill, and it was a small/medium jump for a cat, and the fat ( I think it was an orange tabby cat ) cat was swaying front to back front to back, and it finally jumped, the cat went like two inches and then just fell/slid down the edge of the bed, I think it was a bed, it might have been a table he jumped from. There's also a video kind of like that but the cat was on a car trying to jump onto the roof of a garage.

I've Been Bit!

         I was bit by something and I found out earlier today ( or should I say yesterday, I started this blog post yesterday, [ the day I was bit ] now I'm finishing the post today ), me and my dad both think that it was a spider that bit me on my foot while I was wearing my left shoe while walking my dogs. Then I started to feel something funny when I walked, but I ignored it. Then later I sat on it and it hurt, I looked at it and it was red, I put it up to the light and I saw that there were ( and there still are ) two fang marks, I went up stairs to show my dad ( who was taking a shower at the time, if you care, which would be strange if you do ) after he got out of the shower I showed him, THEN.

         I went to the Emergency Room, because when my dad was younger he sat on a Brown Recluse ( one of the spiders you really don't want to get bit by ) and it bit him on the butt ( or as some people call it... your junk in the trunk, your badonkadonk your, sorry, I won't get in to the Shake Your Euphemism song, I blogged about that a few days ago ) and there's a strange scar, so you know it's bad then, and after that event he just wanted to be careful so he took me to the hospital ( luckily, I live .9 miles away from the hospital in my town, once I biked there ) and we saw a doctor that specializes in spider bites, ( I know, strange right, I'm sure he makes a lot of money [ I was being sarcastic there if you didn't notice, well, maybe he does make good money, but I've only been bit by a spider once, that I know of, I wonder if he operates on people that choke on spiders, you swallow spiders in your sleep you know, I think I saw a BIG spider in my room and swallowed within the next month, because I haven't seen him around ] I didn't even know the hospital had a spider bite branch thingy ) and the doctor said I was a bit by a ....

       Brown Recluse, this is my last blog post, because the doc said I'm going to be around for a few more days at best, he said any time now I could 57mY*hfi8(!/,f keli [HKFN @87jF)jlsHDIjvi^4?.,xm................................................................

















        Okay, I was kidding, I never went to the ER and there's no spider bight branch in the hospital as far as I know. But my dad did get bit by a Brown Recluse when he was a kid. I named the spider in my left shoe of the pair of shoes I wear a lot Bob, Bob is probably squashed in my shoe if that was where I was bit, but there was nothing in my shoe or on my foot. After my dad and I confirmed that I was bit by a spider I went down stairs and started to hunt for the spider in my shoe.

          I took a witch's broom and used the end of it to thwak my shoe, carry my shoe, throw my shoe to find that spider because I really wanted  to find that spider. Then I took a flash light and looked inside my shoe, ( it's dark in there ) and found nothing. There's at least one pocket I know of in my shoe, ( I found that pocket with the flashlight, and just so you know, I don't carry things in my shoe pockets, actually I carry a dime in my left shoe in my red Converse All Stars Chuck Taylor Hi-Tops, and only in that pair of shoes,which were not the shoes I wore when is was bitten, I should start carrying a dime in all my other left shoes, by the way, I call it my shoe dime ) that the spider could have been in, and there is holes in my shoes ( that's for little rope kind of things in my shoe ) the spider could have jumped out of, but the fangs marks in on my foot didn't come from a spider ( or dime ) that would be small enough to jump out of the holes in my shoe with the rope things in the the holes at least. Now I've convinced myself I was not bitten in my shoe. : (