"Fireball, Your Such a Spotted One, Maybe I Can Hook You Up" I Said to My Dog

        "Hello, this is Shiniqua from the Obesity Awareness Center. If you have any friends or family that are obese or becoming, you can come to our open house this Saturday at 123 I Think I'm Green Street in Buffalo, New York 14200. If this is an emergency, give us your address and in the next 15 minutes we will come to deflate The Obese One. Thank you, Bye Bye."  
          
                                -The best prank call I know.

        "Mrs. Stevens, this is Dr. Rozovski, we got your test results back. I'm afraid you have cancer. I'll give you 2 weeks to live at most, I'm sorry. If you want to try to live longer I'll put you on a diet of pizza, green beans, pretzels and canned dog food, cat nip is to over rated for cancer. Oh, and by the way, you still have to pay me, farewell for now, oh wait, there won't be a next time, well, bye."
                                              
                           -Another great one.

        "Hello, this is Robert Buttington, I'm with the IRS. You are on one of our lists that says that you haven't paid your taxes in the last 5 years, it's quit a big list. If you would be kind enough to wire 1.4 million dollars into the Swiss bank account 309415567 we will take you off of our list. Bye."
                              
                          -This one helps if you have a Swiss bank account. 

        "Jimmy, it's Carl, we got a situation. (Frantic breathing) Fiona's dead, Danny's Dead, the cops are on to us. (Lots of frantic breathing) I need to know where you hid the money, but don't call my apartment, I think the FBI tapped my phone line, and the Bratva is not happy. Oh no! The cops, they just pulled up! I'm going out the back door. (About 20 seconds of heavy breathing like your running) They're chasing me through the woods, I'm not gonna make (gun shoot, don't hang up the phone, just leave it).

                                       - This one works best if you speak like you are very  scared with                                                 lots of  frantic breathing. This should be a message left on a                                                   machine.

        To hide who's calling if the person you prank call has a caller ID, dial *67 before the phone number.

NOOOOO!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF MONEY I HAD ON THE PANTHERS!?!?!

        I had a bet going, because I knew that the Panthers would win the Super Bowl and what did they do? Well I actually don't no because I fell asleep at the beginning of 4th quarter, but my dad told me, they lost. Now I have to pay my friend one whole buck! The ape even chose the Panthers!

        There is an orangutan in Utah that has an 8-0 record of guessing Super Bowl winners. Yes, he guessed the last 8 of them correctly but no, not this time he has to be wrong. Foolish monkey...

         But of course my friend, predicted what the ape could not, how dare he.

        Jonathan Stewart, number 28 for the Panthers scored their only touchdown of the game, and it was awesome. Stewart flew, he jumped over other players and landed in the endzone. He jumped REALLY high. Here's a video of game highlights. Skip to the 2:48 second mark to watch the Panthers touchdown.

                                 Here's a picture of the awesome touchdown.

 

"I Can't Feel My Face When I'm With You," I Said to the Cold Virus that Finds Me Attractive...

        I AM SICK! I HAVE A FEVER! AND I! FEEL! ROTTEN!!! The doc thinks that I have Strep, which is a throat infection. When they swabbed my mouth and put it through the 94% accurate quick test I tested negative. The doc thinks that I am one of those 4% of people that test negative but have Strep. There is a 100% accurate test and that takes 2 days to get the results, so they put me on the medicine they would give me if I had Strep, and if the 100% accurate test comes back negative, they'll take me off the meds. Strep or no Strep I still feel terrible! Now look at this really cool picture of a cat doing the jig.